CHAPTER THE SIXTH

 

The Gift of Obedience

 

“I want to be my own person, do my own thing!” If I had a nickel every time I heard that phrase I would be one rich Franciscan. The phrase is not just a modern cultural phenomenon. It is as old as free will. Our first parents said basically the same thing. That’s how we wound up in this big mess. They rejected the will of God for their lives and chose to use their free will to disobey. Ever since then, from the moment we learn the word “no” we have to fight to control this self-will of ours.

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It is true that in previous times and other cultures obedience was part of the culture. When I was recently in Papua New Guinea I was amazed at how obedient the children were. The missionary traveling with me explained that the reason why was because any mother of the tribe can discipline a disobedient child. That seemed to work really well for them, especially since the tribe had a common understanding of appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

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Our present culture seems to still be reeling back from the sixties motto of “Don’t trust anyone over 30”. It created a culture where authority is not respected and still worse, an attitude of “I’ll do what I feel like doing”. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly believe in positive rebellion. That’s when you live and act virtuously in a culture that has institutionalized vice. However simplistic my evaluation of our cultural situation may be, the truth still remains that the vow of obedience can scare the living daylights out of us. We fear not being able to set our own schedule, make our own choices and, God forbid, having to

be told what to do. Far worse, we are deathly afraid of asking permission. The very thought of these things makes us think twice, and maybe more, about ever accepting the vow of obedience.

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Over a decade ago I participated in a survey on religious life. They asked a whole bunch of questions. One particular question stood out and the common answer was fascinating. The question was “What vow do you find most difficult: (A) Poverty (B) Chastity (C) Obedience?” I knew immediately what my answer was, but I thought that I might be alone on it. I thought that for sure the common answer would be (B) Chastity. Boy was I wrong. I was shocked to find out that I was not alone in choosing (C) obedience. Most religious said that they found obedience to be the toughest vow.

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The reason was simple, pride. Pride is so opposed to obedience that it can make obedience look like an evil master. All of us, religious and laity, love to question authority. We always seem to know better than the boss. We have better ideas and ways of doing things. We just love to cling to our will and we are so afraid to let go. We really believe that we know what’s best for ourselves, and everyone else for that matter. My brother-in-law once remarked, “If only God would do my will, we’d get along just fine”. We may pray “Thy will be done”, but boy, do we all need to pray for the grace to do His will.

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The struggle with obedience is not a religious life phenomenon. It is what scares people from religious life. Many will turn to marriage because they just don’t want to be told what to do. If nothing else, three months into the marriage and they will come to realize that, although they never explicitly vowed obedience, they’re living it! Then, when the baby comes along they will both find themselves servants to the will of that child. Obedience is a serious part of married life, each person surrendering their will for the good of the other, the good of each other, and as parents for the good of the family. The self-

gift of love of one person to another requires the total surrender of the will. How else will each person in the family obtain the virtue of humility? Only humility can take down pride and love can only be perfectly expressed through humility.

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Every vowed vocation requires a heart ready for humility. Because the heart seeks to love, it must, by necessity, be ready to be so generous as to surrender one’s will for the sake of the beloved. Humility permits the heart to surrender its own way of thinking, its own designs, its own plans, its own glory and its own self-importance for the good of the beloved. A humble heart is a loving heart. The humble loving heart seeks the designs, plans, glory and importance of the beloved. Both marriage and religious life offer this virtue.

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In the religious life we vow obedience because we see it as a humble act of love for Christ, our beloved. Unlike the view of the world, we don’t see it as something that is imprisoning or constricting. We understand, by the gift of faith, that far from being a captive, obedience is a liberator. Only in obedience are we truly free. We are free from the fear of not doing God’s will. By following obedience we know for certain that we are doing the will of God. God’s will is made known to us through the Rule, Constitutions and by the request of our superiors.

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Picture a fish in a pond. That fish is only free within the pond. You can stand on the shore and scream at it and say, “Come out little fish! You’re a prisoner in that pond! There is a whole world out here! Come out! See the grass, the trees, the sky!” It is true that the fish is missing all life outside the pond. But if it leaves the pond it will die. Although everything outside the pond is beautiful, it is not meant for the fish. The fish is not free outside the pond. It is only free in the pond. Now the fish can complain and bicker and be saddened over its fish fate and live a miserable fish life. Or, it can surrender and resign itself to the world of the pond and the life of a fish and live content and joyful in a fish world, in freedom.

We are like the fish and the pond is God’s will. As religious we are called to live in the pond of God’s will. It has the boundaries of the Rule, the Constitutions, the vows and the obedience of the superiors. But those boundaries are not restrictions, they are the pond in which the religious can live. We can see the pond, the boundaries, as constricting imprisonments and fear to do the will of God because we won’t be “on shore” looking and enjoying legitimate pleasures. This will lead to a stagnant life that will never reach its full joy, because it made a choice based on fear. That fear based on a lack of trust, that God’s will made known to them through obedience, could actually make them happy.

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Joyful resignation of the will, made as an act of unconditional love for Christ the beloved, will lead to a joyful life. Living in the boundaries of obedience to the Rule, Constitutions and obedience to the superior with this disposition gives true freedom to the soul. Easy? No way! Is love ever really “easy”? This joyful commitment may be closing the door on other possibilities, however, that’s what makes it a free act of love.

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Obedience is often very much tied to poverty. What is often overlooked about St. Francis is his incredible understanding of holy obedience. He actually wrote and spoke more about obedience then he did about poverty. He once said that a Friar Minor can be so poor as to have absolutely nothing of his own, but, if he clings to his own self-will, he is the richest of men. Poverty requires the total surrender of everything that one holds, but most especially one’s own free will.

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For many discerning religious life there comes a point where they overcome the fear of doing God’s will. The fear is no longer that they will somehow be less if they do God’s will and becomes more of a reality that they will, for the rest of their lives, give themselves over to obedience. It’s the “rest of their lives” that starts to become the new obstacle to overcome. This obstacle is tied into another generational fear of commitment. That is such a large topic. But we will have to discuss it in later reflections. For now, let it suffice to say that we need to pray for the grace to have such a generous disposition that we can accept making an act of the total self-gift of our will and never want to take it back.

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The gift of self-will to God is just that, a gift. But it must be a free gift, even if it’s hard to give. What greater possession do we have than our self-will? What greater offering can we make to the Lord than the gift of that self-will? How often did Jesus ask for the gift of our self-will, “Not those who cry ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. But only those who do the will of my Father in Heaven”. Jesus, in honoring His mother, responded to someone who desired to honor Our Lady “Rather, Blessed are those who do the will of my Heavenly Father. They are my mother, brother and sister”. Jesus sets up His mother as the most obedient disciple. It is not the wonderful things that she did for Him that is the cause for her blessedness, but rather it’s the fact that her “Fiat Mihi” (Let it be done unto me) was accomplished with maternal fidelity.

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We should take the time to consider why we may be fearing obedience. We need to find out the reason for that fear. We really need to ask if we are so attached to our own will that we just don’t want someone or something “controlling” our life. Do we see obedience as a prison? Do I see it as something that will constrict my life? How attached am I to my own self-will? Am I willing to make of my self-will a permanent lifelong free-will gift to the Lord? Would St. Francis consider me the “richest of men”?

On the more positive side of the reflection, can I see the freedom that obedience brings? Can I see obedience with the eyes of faith? Is there a generosity in my heart that can make this offering? Or do I have the potential for the generosity?

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Allow me to complete this reflection by calling to mind two very significant points. The first is that the vow of obedience is done in complete imitation of our Lord Jesus Christ. It was His obedience that redeemed and sanctified us. St. Paul is clear in telling us that Jesus was “Obedient unto death. Death on a Cross”. And, by disobedience of one man sin came to the world and so it is through the obedience of the one man, Christ Jesus, that we have been justified. When we, consecrated persons, act in imitation of Christ and we are obedient, we participate in the redemption. This loving act done in imitation and union with Christ possesses incredible power.

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Secondly, it must be remembered that obedience here is a preparation for Heaven. In Heaven, everyone takes the vow of obedience. There is no one in Heaven that is not perfectly conformed to the perfect will of God. If we die in grace and are not yet perfectly conformed, we will have the gift of the sufferings of purgatory to remedy us. We are free to sin in Heaven, for God would never take away our free will. However, we would not ever consider the possibility of sinning because we will see the ugliness of sin and not desire it. So, our life long gift of obedience will not end with death, but because it can make us “poor in spirit” (humble) the Kingdom of Heaven is ours.

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The virtue of obedience has been extolled by the saints throughout the centuries. The grace of obedience and the humble following through can accomplish great things! The desert fathers tell of an abbot who had the wisdom of testing his novices. He would tell them to plant a stick and water it faithfully. Those who thought the abbot foolish and refused to obey never persevered in religious life. Those simple and humble novices who obeyed not only persevered but also witnessed their sticks flower and bear fruit. Do not be afraid.

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Lectio for Chapter the Seventh

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Hosea 2:16-20

“And in that day, says the Lord, you will call me, ‘My husband,’ and no longer will you call me, ‘My Ba′al.’ For I will remove the names of the Ba′als from her mouth, and they shall be mentioned by name no more. And I will make for you a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the creeping things of the ground; and I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land; and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me for ever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord.